*achemicalreaction

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I have a foreheadache.

Journal Entry: Wed Jul 22, 2009, 3:22 PM

Przypieprzyłam się w skrzynkę. I was wandering around the house in the dark and I accidently punched my head against the wall pretty hard. Yeah, you're allowed to laugh, it's rather funny but that doesn't change the fact that my forehead hurts as hell. I'm such a miserable ninny.

I envy those people I'm featuring here, I envy their astonishing creativity, I feel bad about it and about myself but FEATURES people, FEATURES!

5 Comments

Mood: Miserable
Listening to: Ashbury Heights - Spiders
Reading: Dostojewski - The Idiot
Watching: Cold Case
Playing: Arkadia arkadia arkadia!
Eating: Porridge
Drinking: Water

One month subscription

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 5, 2009, 6:02 AM

Winning a one month subscription in a

contest is a great opportunity to update this very dusty journal - thank you

for giving me info about this fabulous opportunity!

As some of you may have noticed, I've recently stored a great amount of my deviations and I find it a better idea than deleting all of them or leaving dA. I will be doing my best to improve at not only the technical aspect of photography but also cognitive. In simple terms - I'm going to read about it, learn about the history and watch as many photographs as possible. And I have time to do that because I've passed all my university exams

To be honest, in spite of all my moaning I am sometimes quite proud of myself and the progress I've made during this 6 months of owning a camera.

Also! I'm planning a week trip to Edynburgh with

in September, we want to stay in some cheap hostel and experience the wonders of Scottish capital... and maybe more if we decide to have a small trip outside the city. I'm so excited!

FEATURES! (I can finally do it! They will be messy as I was not prepared for this possibility)

32 Comments

Mood: Euphoric
Listening to: Ashbury Heights - Spiders
Reading: Dostojewski - The Idiot
Watching: IT Crowd
Playing: Arkadia arkadia arkadia!
Drinking: Orange juice

Devious Journal Entry

Mon Apr 13, 2009, 1:32 PM

I seriously concider wiping all the deviations out or at least suspending this DeviantArt account. It is limiting me. I am terribly dissapointed with my work and I realise that remaining in that state would be a bit devastating to my own, personal development. Simultaneously I am certain, that hanging on your opinions and favs, which is inseparably connected to owning a dA account, contribute to my constant artistic depression, so in order to, finally, do all this FOR ME and ME ONLY, I need to do that. (I'm gonna think about it a bit more, though. Let's give it a week, next Tuesday I'm gonna have to decide.) I will come back when I feel that I am ready to publish and be proud of what I've achieved. To be honest, currently I am not. Gotta stop moaning and muster all my energy for accomplishing the state, in which I do not actually think that all my photos are crap.

Because For way too long I've been merely a shadow of my true self.*

* Apoptygma Berzerk - Shadow

9 Comments

Mood: Anxious
Listening to: Punto Omega - Todos Somos Uno
Reading: Roland Barthes - Camera Lucida
Watching: Grey's Anatomy
Playing: Arkadia
Eating: salad salad salad

Devious Journal Entry

Mon Mar 30, 2009, 1:36 PM

I am aware of the fact that I ain't talented and my head isn't filled with ideas. But seriously, whatever. I'm gonna try anyway.

Thanks to

for the inspiring Sunday

***

"I value sense and nonsense alike. I favor nonsense, but that is a personal matter."
Kurt Schwitters

21 Comments

Mood: Spring Fever
Listening to: Apocalyptica - Seemann
Reading: Necroscope 2
Watching: Nuremberg
Playing: Arkadia
Eating: soya cutlets
Drinking: sprite

Devious Journal Entry

Mon Jan 5, 2009, 3:25 PM

I have my dreamed-of tools and I'm desperately longing for some inspiration or a stroke of genius. I've recently came to a quite obvious conclusion that I actually can memorise the manual, acquire the skills I currently do not have, but nevertheless it will all be useless without The Idea. Creativity.

I need to speed up the learning process because I do not want to dissapoint N. to whom I promissed a nude session. The very classical idea I have has to be performed perfectly because I simply owe this to her - I wouldn't want to undress N. and make some shitty, low quality photos. That would be a nightmare.
Also, I would like to thank

for every photo of me that she took. Because of being extremely critical about myself (and depressed for a week after a session) I have a feeling that I did not give enough credit to her but she's really great and has to be properly appreciated. :*

It's sooo freezing outside that any action that involves getting out of bed seems insane. I find it baffling and extremely confusing that I've recently lost all of my intelectual ambitions and I only dream about a mug full of tea with a strong flavour of honey and lemon, a good movie and a warm Dan's body beside me.

Mru ;*